How to Face Problems in Your Life

Having problems in your life can feel overwhelming and it may be that the last thing you want to do is face them. Fortunately though, dealing and coping with problems is a well-studied area and there are many cognitive, emotional, and behavioral steps that can be taken to effectively face your problems head on.

Acknowledge the problem. It can be tempting to stay away from the issue that is causing you problems. However, avoiding the problem does not help solve it. Instead, accept that the problem exists and ask yourself some questions about it. What are the consequences of this problem? Who does it involve?

·         If you don’t think you have a problem, but everyone tells you there is a problem, try to see if there is truth to it.

·         If you are having trouble admitting you have a problem, you might be in denial. For example, if you don’t want to accept that a close family member is involved with drugs, you might come up with other excuses for her behavior.

·         While denial can be useful at times by protecting your mental health, it can in other cases lead you away from dealing with the problem head on.

·         In fact, avoidance often exacerbates the problem and doesn’t provide any lasting relief. Avoiding your problem will continue to create a cycle of stress for you as it will always be weighing on the back of your mind.

·         That said, sometimes a little escapism can be healthy. If you find yourself overwhelmed and stressed out, take a break! Watch a TV show or read a book, or engage in some other hobby you enjoy. You could even just zone out and let your mind wander!

Avoid catastrophizing. Catastrophizing means to have irrational thoughts, such as exaggerating your problem by blowing it out of proportion. For example, you might think that because you failed one class it means that you will never get a good job. Catastrophizing can also mean engaging in all or none thinking (e.g., I'm either going to solve this problem or my life is over).

·         You can avoid catastrophizing by being cognizant of when you are doing it. This requires that you monitor your own thoughts and try to check them for accuracy.

·         You can monitor your thoughts by remembering to think about them and by asking yourself if someone else had that thought, would you think they were being accurate.

Think of the origin of the problem. When did you first notice this problem? Sometimes you may not notice something until it has been going on for a long time. This might especially be true if your problem involves other people (e.g. your sister may have been involved with drugs for a long time before you noticed).

·         If you think you know when the problem started, think about events that happened at that time. The root cause might be related to it. For example, if your grades started slipping in school after your father moved away, maybe you’re having a hard time adjusting to this change.

Put things into perspective. Most likely, your problem is not the end of the world: you can still carry on despite it. Every problem either has a solution or can be looked at in a different way that shows it’s not really such a problem at all.

·         For example, your problem might be that you don’t manage to make it to school on time. By changing a few habits or making different transportation arrangements, this can be changed.

·         Some things can’t be changed, such as a permanent disability or the death of a loved one, but you can learn to live with it and thrive in the wake of it. Also keep in mind that people often think negative events will make them feel worse and worse for longer than they actually do.

·         Telling yourself this isn’t the end of the world doesn’t mean your problem is not really a problem or is insignificant. It just helps you internalize that your problems are not insurmountable.

Embrace the challenge. Your problem can be thought of as a negative thing or a thing in which you have the opportunity to rise to the occasion. For example, if you are a failing a class, you could view this as a major problem and become depressed about it. Or, you could embrace the challenge it offers. Your failing suggests you need to work harder or learn new studying and organizational strategies to succeed. You could use this problem as an opportunity to learn such skills.

·         Dealing with problems and solving them can make you more competent and also more empathetic toward others who have their own problems.